he's not ocd..what would make you say that?

 
 
 
  

note the crayons and the crazy mom

 
 
  

 
 
 
  

waiting

Last year, when Ben was about 10 months old, I took him to the park and pushed him in the swing. Another boy--a toddler--approached, and his mother lifted him up and put him in the swing next to Benjamin. She asked me how old Ben was, and I told her. I asked her how old her baby was and she told me 22 months. Wait until he starts talking, she told me. It's the best.

Ben's 21 months old now. I'm waiting.

ben goes to the museum!

 
 
 
  

 
 
 
  

 
 
  

I just saw An Inconvenient Truth, a film that every person alive is morally obligated to watch and respond to. The U.S. creates the most greenhouse gases, but (surprise!) we have the least efficient vehicles in the developed world. The changes we need to make a major impact aren't that overwhelming. Look at these stats:

* If we raise fuel efficiency standards in American cars by one mile per gallon, in one year, we would save twice the amount of oil that could be obtained from the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge
* Raising it by 2.7 mpg would save enough to eliminate all the oil imports from Iraq and Kuwait combined
* Raising it by 7.6 mpg would save enough to eliminate 100% of our gulf oil imports into this country
Source: Environmental Attorney Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

We can all do small things in our homes and our daily lives to make changes, but we have to convince the slow-moving a-holes in Congress and the White House to want to change too.

We are taught to feel stupid and embarrassed and naive for wanting to make a difference, but taking action on this issue is an actual life/death situation, and by changing into progressive thinkers, we will meet ALL of our goals. This isn't about being a Democrat or liberal; it's about being an ethical person. You'd think these Jesus-freak Republicans would care about that sort of thing.

did you know...

that you can buy a casket at Costco? I wonder if you can get an extra wide one to fit the huge dead ass you grew from eating Cheetos in bulk...
Costco Caskets

diagnosis

We took you to the audiologist today. She said you are "stubborn," "intense," and can hear just fine. No kidding. On to the speech pathologist, my friend!

diagnosis

We took you to the audiologist today. She said you are "stubborn," "intense," and can hear just fine. No kidding. On to the speech pathologist, my friend!

mommy's got too much time on her hands...

the sandal you put on by yourself

  

ignoring elmo

  

two firsts

Benjamin put his sandal on by himself today. I was checking my email, and he quietly stepped into his playroom. He was very quiet for a minute or so, and then he returned triumphantly wearing one sandal! I cheered for him and he looked please with himself, but in a very cool, collected way. I put his other sandal on and we went out back for a while. The heat has been suffocating so far, but at least it was kind of cloudy today, so it was manageable. I had a surprise for Ben--an box of 20 brand new Crayola sidewalk chalks in all different colors, sharpened into a point on one end so that they looked like crayons.

He couldn't wait for me to unwrap them. He frantically grabbed them from me as soon as they were unwrapped, until he had nearly ten thick pieces of chalk in his hand, balancing precariously. But no, he wanted more. He wanted it all! So I kept unwrapping them, and he kept reaching for them, and then he started dropping a few on the ground. And crying. And tripping on the ones he had already dropped. And I patted him on the back and told him it was okay if he couldn't carry 20 gigantic peices of chalk at one time. He was devastated for a second, but then he plopped down and began drawing on the patio, the stepping stones, the walkway to the garage, and every inch of rock within his ability. By the time he was finished, he was dirty and colorful, so it was time for a bath. I wrenched the chalk from his fingers and put it away, and he screamed as though I had punched him. Once the water was running and he had his foam letters, however, he forgot all about his chalk.

Ben is notorious for pooping in the bathtub, so I wanted to give him a quick dip, but just as I was about to take him out of the bath, he began doing his second first: washing himself. He grabbed the baby wash from the side of the tub and instead of trying to lick it, he pretended like he was squirting the soap onto his hands and then he washed himself--his legs, his arms, and his chest. He looked up at me excitedly, and this is what I told him: You are well on your way to manhood now, Benjamin Bartlett. Men know how to wear sandals and give themselves baths.

don't ever stop, okay?

The weird thing about having a baby is that Benjamin loves me automatically, without pausing to think that there might be someone better out there. He doesn't have a choice. I'm his mommy. So he loves me. It is simple. I tickle him and play hide and seek and help him draw and read to him, and he thinks I am the best game in town. He laughs at the stupid, silly things I do, and he throws his arms around my neck. He loves me with everything in him, even when he has to go to time out. Even when I give him a shower because he pooped all over himself in his sleep. I know the day will come when he thinks I am lame, but I still hope that day won't come. I want him to always love me as much as he loves me right now.

  

ben eating--and his cousin, brent!

 
 
 
  

  

 
 
 
  

just not a talker

We're taking Benjamin into the doctor tomorrow to possibly get him referred to a speech therapist. He doesn't talk much. At all. In fact, if he says a word at all, he doesn't say it again, except a string of ma-ma-ma-ma-ma every once in a while. He is supposed to say like 10-15 words at this point, point to his body parts, and change the oil on our cars, and he does none of the above. I was looking into this program called Early Start for kids under 3 who have developmental delays. On the website for our regional office, there are a bunch of pictures of kids in wheelchairs, which did not encourage me to bring Ben there. I mean, his problem isn't that serious, is it? Is it? I just don't want a giant file to be formed, one that will follow him throughout school. I want him to get help without getting labeled.

We went to the beach yesterday, and it was gorgeous. It was Ben's first time at a real beach, and he was completely overwhelmed. I went into the ocean and he acted as if I would be swallowed up, never to be seen again. He finally took a nap under the sun shade and woke up distraught. Nothing would soothe him except a cereal bar, and that was short lived. So we took him home in Orange County traffic, screeching all the way. I had a nice time though, and we'll try it again. Just not this week.

 
 
 
  

how dial-up is ruining my life

Oh I've got memories. And I've got stories to tell. But....I....just....can't....tell....them....to....you because I'm stuck in SLOOOOOOWWWWWW dial-up hell. Dial-up internet should be illegal. It was definitely not created for Type A personalities. We moved last week, and I have been subjected to a week of dial-up, and as I sat there setting up the online class I teach in slow motion the other day, the thought crossed my mind that it would really be so much easier to just end my life there instead of waiting for the slower, less efficient death that would surely come to me as I waited for question #3 on quiz #2 to finally be accepted by Blackboard. I'm on someone else's computer right now, and I never want to leave. High speed internet is just so right. And natural. And American.

outtakes

How will I embarass you when you are older? Let me count the ways...Pooping in the bath tub on a regular basis was just superceded when you put your head in the toilet bowl last night, dipping your hair in the water and laughing.