the randomest assortment of photos you will ever know

 
 
 

 
 
 
 

a bump in the road

We bought our house over a year ago now, and we've been doing our best to keep up with the payments. Even though our income is really good and we have great jobs, we have a negative amount of dollars in the bank as I write this, with no pay coming until the 1st. This moment has been a long time in the making because our approach to finances is as follows:

1. We get paid on the first of the month.
2. We pay all of our bills the first week of the month.
3. We celebrate and go out to eat and do fun things the first week of the month.
4. We spend the rest of the month panicking that we will overdraft our bank account.
5. We ignore our bank account.
6. We overdraft our bank account.

So you could say that we are not good with money. It's not that we go out to fancy restaurants or buy expensive clothes or go on elaborate vacations. It's that our house costs so much. And since it has lost $100,000 in value, we can't refinance. We basically have very few options. On top of that, we have child care, student loans from fancy schools, credit card payments, etc.

So after crying and freaking out a little yesterday, I sat down with Ryan and we worked out a budget. And we can do this. We can keep our house. (We haven't even gotten behind yet.) We can pay our bills. We can even save a little. But we are going to teach extra classes. We are canceling things we don't need like Netflix and pest control. We are severely limiting any eating out, even if it's just fast food.

The great thing about Ryan and me is that we don't blame each other. When things like this happen, we pull together and we make it work. It isn't going to be fun or easy, but we know we can do this.

fear

I thought I was at my worst point politically when Bush won a 2nd term. But I honestly fear for the future of the country if McCain wins and they get another four years to do irreparable damage. I don't think I'm being dramatic. What's stopping me from moving to another country and getting free health care, pay in the summer, low-cost, quality day care for my children, free college for my children, the list goes on and on and on? There is a shift going on here. These people that would even consider voting for McCain, I don't understand them. They don't understand me. There is this huge cultural rift in this country and it scares the crap out of me. And I'm scared there is no going back. It wasn't so long ago that we had a revolution and people fought against sexism and racism and inequality in many of its forms. And now look where we are. All of that, for this? It's such a shame...

1 year closer to 30

Yesterday was my birthday. I know this makes no sense, but usually my birthdays fall on Tuesday, but this year it fell on a Friday, and we made the most of it! We dropped off the kids at Aunt Alice's and we went to Disneyland! I felt a little twinge of guilt but let me tell you it was so nice to stroll through Disneyland without a care in the world. I have so much fun with the kids there, but it is a little bit like going to war with all of the supplies and planning and marching and retreating. It was just the two of us and there were barely any people there. We even went on Space Mountain three times. And I don't know if it is the fact that I lost 12 pounds or cut some obligations out of my life or Elliott became a toddler instead of a baby or a combination, but I have felt strangely at peace with things and it is terrifyingly delicious. Because I never feel like this. Ever. I'm even okay with the fact that my laundry is unfolded and sitting on the ottoman behind me. Sure, I'm still thinking about it, and it kind of bugs me, but I realize that it is just laundry and I can do it tomorrow and no one is going to come over to my house and judge me. And if they do, they can go fuck themselves. The unfolded laundry will not harm my family and everything will be okay. I had noticed that I was strangely calm these past few weeks, and I really don't know what happened. It's like the anxiety switch went off in me, and instead of just getting by during the day I'm actually enjoying each day and I feel ridiculously happy, happier than I have felt in a long time. In the back of my mind, I am terrified that this happiness will inevitably be destroyed by something horrible, but I'm trying not to let that old friend of mine take over. I'm trying to enjoy this, this strange new Angela. Happy 29, old friend. (When you turn 29, you talk about yourself in the 3rd person.)

off to a rockin' start

The kids' asthma has disappeared this summer. They've been healthy and happy all summer, with some minor exceptions. But I told Ryan that as soon as we start back at school, they would get sick. Horribly sick. And no matter what we did to keep up with our work, it wouldn't matter because our lack of sleep, the coating of germs and bodily fluids, those things would make us get woefully behind in every aspect of life--bathing, working, laundry, etc. And Tuesday night (after my second day back at work), Benjamin woke up with a fever of 103. And then the vomit started spewing. I canceled my office hours in the morning and took him to the doctor because Ryan was suddenly sick too. I worked late to make up my office hours and came home to the two of them collapsed on the couch. Then I woke up this morning with it. And now I am already so far behind in every aspect of my life.

Some people might say that kids get sick in the fall and winter, and this is to be expected. I say to those people, it is still summer. IT IS STILL SUMMER.

the douchebag report

Today, some pathetic, fat, white guy came to my door asking if I would vote yes on proposition 8. I told him I am completely against it, actually. He said thank you and walked away. He spent about 40 minutes talking to my neighbor, who I'm guessing is for it. There is a rumor on the web that the yes on prop. 8 people will be putting yard signs in front of their houses as a united front of bigotry on September 22, and that these neighborhood visits are more about getting supporters to put up signs than changing anyone's mind.

Now, is it a coincidence that sometime between this morning and this afternoon, my Barack Obama yard sign was removed from my grass, bent into several pieces, and left in the road in front of my house? Even if it wasn't this hateful guy, it was some other hateful person, who put their hands on my property and violated my right to free speech.

I'm SO FUCKING ANGRY RIGHT NOW.

why ben and i don't share our water

the zoo and more!