Saturday, June 05, 2010
two steps forward, one step back
Oh Elliott. How you toy with us. So Elliott was having an amazing week. And then we tried to go to a party yesterday. And then basketball class today. And all hell broke loose. At the party, he didn't like everyone looking at him and talking to him and he began to scream and kick and freak out. I had to take him home, screaming and snot-covered the entire way. Then we tried basketball class with Ben today. It began with promise, but then when he realized he couldn't simply shoot the ball in the hoop over and over and over again, that he would have to also listen to the teacher (who was very kind) and learn other skills, he again flipped out. Other parents stared and rolled their eyes. We persisted, and we will continue to persist and those other parents can lick my balls, as I told Ryan. (I'm a classy lady.) A colleague of Ryan's passed by while we were in class. She didn't know that Elliott had autism, and when she found out, she acted as though I told her that he had died. She got quiet and uncomfortable and dismissed herself awkwardly away from me. What is wrong with people? I'm sorry my kids don't fit into your idea of what kids should be. My kids are awesome--funny and sweet and kind and smart and beautiful. And if you can't see that, then you have the problem.
Thursday, June 03, 2010
breakthrough week
The past month for Elliott has been hard because he broke his arm and his schedule was disrupted and he was generally screamy and miserable. However, it has all paid off. This past week, he has made so many accomplishments. He's begun to speak in two-three-to even four word sentences ("Where did Daddy go?" and "I love you, too" "Put it in" etc.) and his eye contact is insane. Like he will look at me and hold my gaze and talk and laugh with me appropriately. He used to catch my eyes for a second or two, but now it's sometimes a minute or two when we are talking or playing around, which is amazing!!! He's singing full songs, laughing at jokes, tapping on our shoulders and asking for attention with words instead of screams. He seems so happy and pleased to be a part of the activities he used to stay away from. When we went to a baby shower a week ago, he even asked a few kids to play with him. He didn't know how to follow through with that, and for the most part he stayed a safe distance away from all of them, but he was watching and imitating. He is getting there. I want to leap through this computer and shake your shoulders in excitement, that's how excited I am. Typing does not do justice to the elation that I feel right now. We are going to work hard with him all summer, and this boy is going to do great things. I just know it.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
like a dagger through my heart
Ben and I have been having our issues lately. When I asked him to listen, he tells me his ears don't work. When his Zhu Zhu pet (a hamster toy for those of you out of the loop on children's toys) was taken away because he wouldn't stop annoying Elliott, he screamed about it for almost an hour. He whines and yells and says he doesn't like me or his toys or his house. I remind him that other people don't have toys or houses or food even and he just cries even more. In general, he is a very sweet and loving and smart and helpful boy but sometimes he is SO SENSITIVE.
In any case, during Elliott's therapy, Ben was having a hard time again (probably because Elliott gets so much attention), and he retreated to his room. I went up to check on him about 10 minutes later, and he was packing his backpack full of stuffed animals. "Where are you going?" I asked him. "To see your mommy," he replied. This took me off guard. I didn't know which mom (stepmom or biological) he was referring to. He barely sees my stepmom and I don't think he thinks of her as my mom. And my biological mom is dead. Ben knows that she is dead because he's asked me about it before, but we haven't talked about it in months. As he stuffed Pluto into a Thomas the Train backpack he continued, "I want to see where your mommy lives, but she's dead. So I can't see her. That's sad, Mom." This whole interaction was so earnest and surreal that tears immediately came to my eyes. I didn't let on, though. "Was she nice?" Ben asked. How would I put this? My biological mother was not nice. She was very mean to a lot of people and she was a drug addict. She wasn't pure evil; I believe that she loved me to whatever extent she was capable of love...but "nice" is not the word I would use. I try to be honest with Ben, though. I told him, "No, she wasn't very nice, but I'm okay...and I'm nice to you and Elliott, and that's all that matters." Giving your kids everything you never had also means coming to terms with the fact that none of that will change and you can only go forward. It is wonderful to be able to give my kids all of that love and support but it can be painful to see the contrast between what they have and what I had. I did not have a mother who loved me. I'm okay with that most of the time; lots of people have worse things to deal with. But sometimes it sneaks up on me. I
I have a twelve year old niece who just found out her dad (my brother) is a drug addict and has been since well before she was born. And god it hurts to see her struggle with this. And to hear her reassure herself that it will be okay, that she will make it, that she will give her kids what she never had. To see her smile break up into tears because she's under so much pressure. I see the struggle ahead of her, but I tell her, it's okay. You can make it. You can make your life different, for yourselves and for your children. I am proof of that.
It is strange to me that I do feel a little sad that Ben will never meet my mom, but I know that this is probably for the best. Ben forgot about his backpack full of animals and his desire to meet my mother almost instantaneously. The moment passed for him quickly, skimmed off the surface of his beautiful, stable life. I am grateful for that.
In any case, during Elliott's therapy, Ben was having a hard time again (probably because Elliott gets so much attention), and he retreated to his room. I went up to check on him about 10 minutes later, and he was packing his backpack full of stuffed animals. "Where are you going?" I asked him. "To see your mommy," he replied. This took me off guard. I didn't know which mom (stepmom or biological) he was referring to. He barely sees my stepmom and I don't think he thinks of her as my mom. And my biological mom is dead. Ben knows that she is dead because he's asked me about it before, but we haven't talked about it in months. As he stuffed Pluto into a Thomas the Train backpack he continued, "I want to see where your mommy lives, but she's dead. So I can't see her. That's sad, Mom." This whole interaction was so earnest and surreal that tears immediately came to my eyes. I didn't let on, though. "Was she nice?" Ben asked. How would I put this? My biological mother was not nice. She was very mean to a lot of people and she was a drug addict. She wasn't pure evil; I believe that she loved me to whatever extent she was capable of love...but "nice" is not the word I would use. I try to be honest with Ben, though. I told him, "No, she wasn't very nice, but I'm okay...and I'm nice to you and Elliott, and that's all that matters." Giving your kids everything you never had also means coming to terms with the fact that none of that will change and you can only go forward. It is wonderful to be able to give my kids all of that love and support but it can be painful to see the contrast between what they have and what I had. I did not have a mother who loved me. I'm okay with that most of the time; lots of people have worse things to deal with. But sometimes it sneaks up on me. I
I have a twelve year old niece who just found out her dad (my brother) is a drug addict and has been since well before she was born. And god it hurts to see her struggle with this. And to hear her reassure herself that it will be okay, that she will make it, that she will give her kids what she never had. To see her smile break up into tears because she's under so much pressure. I see the struggle ahead of her, but I tell her, it's okay. You can make it. You can make your life different, for yourselves and for your children. I am proof of that.
It is strange to me that I do feel a little sad that Ben will never meet my mom, but I know that this is probably for the best. Ben forgot about his backpack full of animals and his desire to meet my mother almost instantaneously. The moment passed for him quickly, skimmed off the surface of his beautiful, stable life. I am grateful for that.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
1st broken bone
Elliott broke his elbow yesterday. He fell off of the bench he was standing on at the breakfast nook. He tries to stand on this bench all of the time, and we tell him to sit down all of the time, but this time he fell down right on top of his elbow. At the time, I was at the Regional Center fighting with a duty officer who was a horrible person. No one went to this really important meeting on Elliott's behalf because his coordinator went on maternity leave. I've been asking about what would happen if she missed the meeting for the past month, and the RC wouldn't give me any info on her replacement. It's not like it was a surprise that she went on leave. SHE WAS PREGNANT. In any case, not only did they miss this important meeting, but they neglected to contact me about it. And when I tried to call, the phone just kept ringing and ringing. So, in a rage, I drove down there. As soon as I had resolved the issue (whatever that means with the RC), I got a call from Ryan saying he was rushing Elliott to the emergency room because he had fallen, he was screaming, and his arm was swollen. Elliott continued to scream for 3 hours as they took x-rays, examined him, and finally put a cast on him. Some lady in the waiting room asked Ryan why he was screaming so much. Good think we don't carry guns on us. We'd be in hiding by now.
In any case, his cast and his sling are very sad, and he keeps tugging at them to get them off. He doesn't understand, and I think that's the worst part. I also feel really guilty for some reason. I guess that's just being a parent.
In any case, his cast and his sling are very sad, and he keeps tugging at them to get them off. He doesn't understand, and I think that's the worst part. I also feel really guilty for some reason. I guess that's just being a parent.
Monday, April 12, 2010
things are crazy right now...
So instead of tell you about all of that, here's a healthy and GFCF loaded baked potato recipe for y'all. I came up with it!
Simple and good:
3 large Yukon gold potatoes, unpeeled cut up into fourths
5 strips of nitrate-free turkey bacon, cooked and crumbled
2 1/2 c. chicken stock and 1 c. unsweetened regular almond milk (not vanilla)
1 c. of spinach
1 tbsp. arrowroot powder
2 cloves garlic
1 tbsp. of oil (I use grapeseed)
onion powder (or real onion if your husband will eat onions), to taste
salt, to taste
pepper, to taste
Garnish with:
green onions or chives (optional)
light cheese (vegan or regular if not on a special diet)
Lightly saute the garlic in the grapeseed oil. Add onion powder, potatoes, bacon, and chicken stock and bring to a boil over med. high heat. Dissolve 1 tbsp. of arrowroot in water and add to the pan with the almond milk. Bring the soup to med. low and then cook until potatoes are tender. Add salt, pepper, and spinach. After the spinach wilts, serve with green onions and/or shredded cheese.
Simple and good:
3 large Yukon gold potatoes, unpeeled cut up into fourths
5 strips of nitrate-free turkey bacon, cooked and crumbled
2 1/2 c. chicken stock and 1 c. unsweetened regular almond milk (not vanilla)
1 c. of spinach
1 tbsp. arrowroot powder
2 cloves garlic
1 tbsp. of oil (I use grapeseed)
onion powder (or real onion if your husband will eat onions), to taste
salt, to taste
pepper, to taste
Garnish with:
green onions or chives (optional)
light cheese (vegan or regular if not on a special diet)
Lightly saute the garlic in the grapeseed oil. Add onion powder, potatoes, bacon, and chicken stock and bring to a boil over med. high heat. Dissolve 1 tbsp. of arrowroot in water and add to the pan with the almond milk. Bring the soup to med. low and then cook until potatoes are tender. Add salt, pepper, and spinach. After the spinach wilts, serve with green onions and/or shredded cheese.
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
frustration
Our school district has all of these resources that other districts do not have (namely taxpayer MONEY), and yet they have no program for mild to moderate autistic kids. Many lower income schools in the same region have excellent inclusion programs. I wish I were a lawyer so I could sue them so hard that they would have to fix their program. Because when you put mildly autistic kids in severe programs, I believe you negatively impact them for the rest of their lives. And that is just wrong. Of course I won't put Elliott in that program, but there are other parents who might not know that they have other options, or might not be able to pursue those options. Elliott has improved so greatly in just one year. He would have never been considered high functioning just 6 months ago, and now he is. And who knows where he'll be in another 6 months. It enrages me that this is going on and I don't know what to do about it.
Friday, February 26, 2010
moving on
So...my stalker friend was expelled from the college. I was worried about it last week, but now I just feel too busy to deal with a stalker. Couldn't he stalk me over the summer, when I'll have more time to deal with it? God, stalkers are so inconsiderate.
We are in the midst of Elliott's IEP process. And if you don't have a kid with special needs, then you may not know how arduous and emotionally exhausting this is. Basically, they are determining where Elliott should be placed educationally. He gets assessed by a psychologist, a nurse, and a speech pathologist and then 10 people meet in a room and tell me where they think he should go. So they wanted to put him in this autism classroom. Since he's doing so well in regular preschool, I was worried that this wouldn't be the right place for him, especially since they have no integration with typical kids. But I wanted to keep an open mind so I went and visited the class today.
And within about 10 minutes of sitting in that classroom, my eyes were welling up with tears. These kids were severe. Half of them were completely non-verbal. They were rocking and throwing their bodies around. The six year olds were learning skills Elliott mastered months ago. Most of the kids stared into the distance, past the teachers, past me. THIS was where they wanted to place my Elliott? After kindergarten, these kids went to a 1st-5th grade program at another school. In other words, no exit strategy. No integration. No hope that these kids would be mainstreamed, ever. I know that these women are well-intentioned and hardworking and using all of the resources they have, but, their expectations were so low for the kids. They were rewarding them with Doritos for clapping their hands. I mean, it was that bad.
So I guess the coordinator I got through the school district is supposed to be the bitchiest one around. I'm guessing my request for another IEP was not well-received. But there is no way in hell Elliott is going into that classroom. I refuse to have low expectations for my son.
We are in the midst of Elliott's IEP process. And if you don't have a kid with special needs, then you may not know how arduous and emotionally exhausting this is. Basically, they are determining where Elliott should be placed educationally. He gets assessed by a psychologist, a nurse, and a speech pathologist and then 10 people meet in a room and tell me where they think he should go. So they wanted to put him in this autism classroom. Since he's doing so well in regular preschool, I was worried that this wouldn't be the right place for him, especially since they have no integration with typical kids. But I wanted to keep an open mind so I went and visited the class today.
And within about 10 minutes of sitting in that classroom, my eyes were welling up with tears. These kids were severe. Half of them were completely non-verbal. They were rocking and throwing their bodies around. The six year olds were learning skills Elliott mastered months ago. Most of the kids stared into the distance, past the teachers, past me. THIS was where they wanted to place my Elliott? After kindergarten, these kids went to a 1st-5th grade program at another school. In other words, no exit strategy. No integration. No hope that these kids would be mainstreamed, ever. I know that these women are well-intentioned and hardworking and using all of the resources they have, but, their expectations were so low for the kids. They were rewarding them with Doritos for clapping their hands. I mean, it was that bad.
So I guess the coordinator I got through the school district is supposed to be the bitchiest one around. I'm guessing my request for another IEP was not well-received. But there is no way in hell Elliott is going into that classroom. I refuse to have low expectations for my son.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
guess who's back...
So I had this kid stalking me last semester. I used to be his mentor through a program at my work. He began to demand more and more from me and when I didn't live up to his extremely high expectations, he just sort of lost it on me. The breaking point for him was when I deleted him from my Facebook account. He then began relentlessly emailing me with vague threats and twisted religious references. He was removed from campus for a couple of weeks and told not to contact me again. And aside from one incident during finals week last semester, I hadn't heard from him. Until yesteray.
He sent me this long, bizarre message saying he was sent by Jesus to punish me but that he would have mercy on me if I did what he asked, etc., etc. Effing insane. So now I'm at work, flinching every time someone walks past my office. He is the kind of a kid who ends up shooting up a school. And that's what I'm afraid of. He know when and where I teach and what my office hours are. I hate that there is not much I can do about it at the moment.
I know that everything will be okay; the odds are on that side of things. But I have a mother who died at the age of 36. And as irrational as it may be, I've always feared that I would die before my kids were adults, leaving them motherless like I was. I'm the only 30 year old I know looking forward to her 37th birthday. I just want to get past that hump. So I am disturbed that this mentally unstable person could very well harm me if he wants to, seeing as Jesus told him to and all, and, for right now, I can't do anything besides wait.
He sent me this long, bizarre message saying he was sent by Jesus to punish me but that he would have mercy on me if I did what he asked, etc., etc. Effing insane. So now I'm at work, flinching every time someone walks past my office. He is the kind of a kid who ends up shooting up a school. And that's what I'm afraid of. He know when and where I teach and what my office hours are. I hate that there is not much I can do about it at the moment.
I know that everything will be okay; the odds are on that side of things. But I have a mother who died at the age of 36. And as irrational as it may be, I've always feared that I would die before my kids were adults, leaving them motherless like I was. I'm the only 30 year old I know looking forward to her 37th birthday. I just want to get past that hump. So I am disturbed that this mentally unstable person could very well harm me if he wants to, seeing as Jesus told him to and all, and, for right now, I can't do anything besides wait.
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
current obsessions
I'm on a real cooking kick right now, and I've been experimenting with lots of gluten-free, dairy free stuff for Elliott (and the rest of us!). I highly recommend these two ladies' websites and I just bought their cookbooks yesterday. I've tried several of their recipes, and they are so good. Enjoy!
Elana's Pantry
The Spunky Coconut
Last night I made the chocolate cake from the first website using and the chocolate frosting from the 2nd one. It was amazing, Elliott can eat it, and it was lower in sugar and higher in fiber and protein. Benjamin loved it too!
Elana's Pantry
The Spunky Coconut
Last night I made the chocolate cake from the first website using and the chocolate frosting from the 2nd one. It was amazing, Elliott can eat it, and it was lower in sugar and higher in fiber and protein. Benjamin loved it too!
Monday, January 25, 2010
conan o'brien's farewell speech
Conan is one hell of a person. Here's hoping he comes back (on Fox?)!
“There’s been a lot of speculation in the press about what I legally can and can’t say about NBC. And– this isn’t a joke– to set the record straight–and this is true– tonight, I’m allowed to say anything I want…
And what I want to say is this: between my time at Saturday Night Live, the Late Night show, and my brief run here on The Tonight Show, I’ve worked with NBC for over 20 years.
Yes, we have our differences right now. Yes, we’re going our separate ways. But this company has been my home for most of my adult life. I am enourmously proud of the work we’ve done together and I want to thank NBC for making it all possible. I really do.
A lot of people have been asking me about my state of mind, and to be honest with you, walking away from The Tonight Show is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
Making this choice has been enourmously difficult. This is the best job in the world. I absolutely love doing it. And I have the best staff and crew in the history of the medium. And I will fight anybody who says I don’t… but no one would.
But despite this sense of loss, I really feel this should be a happy moment. Every comedian dreams of hosting The Tonight Show. And for 7 months, I got to do it. And, I did it my way, with people I love; I do not regret one second of anything we’ve done.
I encounter people when I walk on the street now who just… give me sort of a sad look. I have had more good fortune than anybody I know. And if our next gig is doing a show in a 7-11 parking lot, we will find a way to make it fun. We really will.
Finally, I have something to say to our fans.
This massive outpouring of support and passion from so many people has been overwhelming for me. The rallies, the signs, all this goofy, outrageous creativity on the internet…The fact that people have travelled long distances and camped out all night in the pouring rain… to be in our audience…
Here’s what all of you have done: you’ve made a sad situation joyous and inspirational.
So to all the people watching, I can never, ever thank you enough for the kindness you’ve shown to me. I’ll think about it for the rest of my life.
All I ask is one thing– and I’m asking this particularly of the young people who watch: Please do not be cynical. For the record, I hate cynicism. It’s my least favorite quality. It doesn’t lead anywhere.
Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard, and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.
I’m telling you… Amazing things will happen.”
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
wishing i had a time machine.
I'm working with an advocate now as we transition Elliott to special services through the school district when he turns 3 in March. If any of you have kids that need help, I highly suggest using an advocate. She knows what she's talking about, she's calm and objective, and she helps me navigate through all of the crap I'm trying to get through to get the best support for my son. Anyway, Elliott is up for evaluation through the school district in two weeks and I can't get the district to send me a consent form to let me know what tests they'll be using in the evaluation. It makes sense that I review this information BEFORE the assessment so that my consent is informed, no? But the district usually brings it with them when they perform the assessment, which doesn't make any sense at all. So anyway, I was talking to her about all of this, and she asked me if Elliott has ever received any speech therapy. One of Elliott's most significant problems is language. I've fought very hard to get him a form of therapy called ABA which addresses language but isn't speech therapy per se. Elliott has not had speech therapy and suddenly I felt like a failure. My advocate was angry with the regional center for not providing this, but I am angry at myself. How could I have missed this? Now Elliott is turning 3 and we have missed a crucial window of time to intervene early with his language acquisition and I'm so frustrated with myself. Getting any type of service from our regional center has been difficult but I don't know why it didn't occur to me to fight for BOTH instead of just one. I guess there is no going back in time, but I really wish I could right now. Elliott, I am so sorry.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
here we go again
So Elliott is getting close to three years old now. And I'm terrified. Benjamin turned into a maniac just before he was three, tearing posters from his wall, peeing on the floor, yelling in our faces, kicking his toys, etc. He wouldn't sleep. He wouldn't listen. He was in time out almost every hour. Ryan and I looked upon that time as a war of sorts, a war we were determined to win. And though homeboy has his moments, Benjamin is a sweet boy who generally listens to and respects people and is happy overall.
Now, Elliott is getting close to three. And he will not sleep. And he has hit us. He yells no in our faces and throws books at our heads. Last night, we got about 4 hours of sleep. We had to wake him up at 7 for his therapy and he was miserable for the entire first hour, tossing his body to the ground, banging his head up against chairs, etc. When I finally got him to calm down, I served him breakfast and he nearly choked on a bite of pancake. I had walked into the kitchen to get his juice, and suddenly he came around the corner, making a strange noise and looking terrified. I reached towards him and he started coughing (which is a great sign--air is getting through) and he choked the piece down and started crying, heaving into my chest. I was so grateful again that he allows me to comfort him now, and I just sat there with him until he was done crying that jagged, after-cry that kids get when they are very upset. He was completely fine, and he ate the rest of his pancakes withotu incident but it really scared me.
His therapy was interrupted for longer than it's supposed to be interrupted, and the therapist just sat there taking notes for a really long time. I'm grateful for the work she does with him, but it is very structured, and our lives our so unstructured and unpredictable and sometimes I struggle to reconcile my morning chaos and whatever chaos is going on in Elliott's head and Benjamin's demands with the three hours of therapy every morning, with the person sitting in my living room, telling me how to do everything, taking notes on what percentage of the time I provide Elliott with a prompt for a word. It gets intense.
And, still, I saw this couple taking their newborn on a walk in the stroller on my way to work and I felt so happy for them. I sit in the middle of the night with Elliott against my chest and I am exhausted, but the feeling of his body against mine, the complete trust he has in me, is incredible. It's difficult to describe all of this without being cliche, but what I will say is that I am grateful for this opportunity I have to be a parent. It pushes me to the brink sometimes, but it has also saved me so many others.
Now, Elliott is getting close to three. And he will not sleep. And he has hit us. He yells no in our faces and throws books at our heads. Last night, we got about 4 hours of sleep. We had to wake him up at 7 for his therapy and he was miserable for the entire first hour, tossing his body to the ground, banging his head up against chairs, etc. When I finally got him to calm down, I served him breakfast and he nearly choked on a bite of pancake. I had walked into the kitchen to get his juice, and suddenly he came around the corner, making a strange noise and looking terrified. I reached towards him and he started coughing (which is a great sign--air is getting through) and he choked the piece down and started crying, heaving into my chest. I was so grateful again that he allows me to comfort him now, and I just sat there with him until he was done crying that jagged, after-cry that kids get when they are very upset. He was completely fine, and he ate the rest of his pancakes withotu incident but it really scared me.
His therapy was interrupted for longer than it's supposed to be interrupted, and the therapist just sat there taking notes for a really long time. I'm grateful for the work she does with him, but it is very structured, and our lives our so unstructured and unpredictable and sometimes I struggle to reconcile my morning chaos and whatever chaos is going on in Elliott's head and Benjamin's demands with the three hours of therapy every morning, with the person sitting in my living room, telling me how to do everything, taking notes on what percentage of the time I provide Elliott with a prompt for a word. It gets intense.
And, still, I saw this couple taking their newborn on a walk in the stroller on my way to work and I felt so happy for them. I sit in the middle of the night with Elliott against my chest and I am exhausted, but the feeling of his body against mine, the complete trust he has in me, is incredible. It's difficult to describe all of this without being cliche, but what I will say is that I am grateful for this opportunity I have to be a parent. It pushes me to the brink sometimes, but it has also saved me so many others.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
i'm a terrible blogger I know I know
What an erratic mess this blog is these days. When I'm on vacation, I get a little out of hand and stop exercising and vacuuming and start eating cookies and watching reruns of The Soup. I stay in my sweatpants all day and don't leave the house. But I'm back to work and I'll get back to my normal routine of a frantic push towards a nervous breakdown. Even as I am typing, I am thinking of the ridiculous to do list I have at work right now. On the good news front, I got an appt. with a very mysterious Kaiser doctor who believes in the biomedical approach. It took me 3 months to get through to her, but I've got an appt. for Elliott next month! This means most of the labs and supplements we pay for would be covered by our insurance. Hallelujah! It is late and I need a shower, so I will leave you with this video of Benjamin playing his Wii. I will also save this video, along with many other things, to show him when he thinks he is really cool in high school.
Friday, January 01, 2010
events of the decade
2000-Ryan graduated with his B.A. from CSUSB. I married Ryan and we moved to Oakland
2001-Ryan's grandma passed away. I graduated with a B.A. from SFSU
2002-Matt passed away. Ryan graduated with his M.F.A. from Mills College and we moved to New York so I could attend Columbia.
2003-We lived in New York, which is a crazy event in itself.
2004-I got pregnant. Ian passed away. I gave birth to Benjamin and finished my thesis and graduated from Columbia with my M.F.A. We moved back to Redlands.
2005-We moved to a bigger place in Redlands and got sued by a credit card company. We settled the suit out of court. I got a temporary full-time position teaching. Benjamin had a severe speech delay and we pursued treatment for him.
2006-We moved again, and we both got hired full-time at different colleges. I got pregnant with Elliott. Benjamin improved with speech therapy.
2007-I gave birth to Elliott. Then we bought a house. Which was a bad idea in retrospect. So we moved again.
2008-We realized Elliott had a problem, and we suspected autism.
2009-Benjamin started kindergarten and exceeded our highest hopes for him. He is happy, healthy, smart, well-adjusted, and social. We lost our house, and Elliott was diagnosed with autism. We fought all year to get him the treatments he needed. And he has improved tremendously. He is happier and healthier than ever. Oh yeah, and we moved.
Ryan and my last ten years have been spent together, and I'm so grateful to have such an amazing man to share the chaos (and the few quiet moments) with. I'm not complaining, but here's hoping the next 10 years bring us more stability and comfort. We are so grateful for everyone who has helped us weather the good and the bad, and for all of the love we have in our lives. Happy 2010!!
2001-Ryan's grandma passed away. I graduated with a B.A. from SFSU
2002-Matt passed away. Ryan graduated with his M.F.A. from Mills College and we moved to New York so I could attend Columbia.
2003-We lived in New York, which is a crazy event in itself.
2004-I got pregnant. Ian passed away. I gave birth to Benjamin and finished my thesis and graduated from Columbia with my M.F.A. We moved back to Redlands.
2005-We moved to a bigger place in Redlands and got sued by a credit card company. We settled the suit out of court. I got a temporary full-time position teaching. Benjamin had a severe speech delay and we pursued treatment for him.
2006-We moved again, and we both got hired full-time at different colleges. I got pregnant with Elliott. Benjamin improved with speech therapy.
2007-I gave birth to Elliott. Then we bought a house. Which was a bad idea in retrospect. So we moved again.
2008-We realized Elliott had a problem, and we suspected autism.
2009-Benjamin started kindergarten and exceeded our highest hopes for him. He is happy, healthy, smart, well-adjusted, and social. We lost our house, and Elliott was diagnosed with autism. We fought all year to get him the treatments he needed. And he has improved tremendously. He is happier and healthier than ever. Oh yeah, and we moved.
Ryan and my last ten years have been spent together, and I'm so grateful to have such an amazing man to share the chaos (and the few quiet moments) with. I'm not complaining, but here's hoping the next 10 years bring us more stability and comfort. We are so grateful for everyone who has helped us weather the good and the bad, and for all of the love we have in our lives. Happy 2010!!
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