Playing with Daddy 

Beautiful boy with brand new toy (and the ever-present spoon) 

Christmas! 

Chillin' out, maxin'  

Baby nerd 

Playing with Christmas presents! 

At Lestat's West 

"I like to use the potty. Do you like to use the potty?" --Leap Frog 

The Slater Sisters in action 

Ben's new leap frog from grandma. 

play ball! 

The Slater Sisters (aka my best friend/sister in law and my cousin) 

The Slater Sisters in action 

a new, calmer me

Well, I'm relatively calm now, and I'm looking forward to buying an office desk and organizing on the break. I LOVE organizing. I can't wait until I retire so I can organize everything into neat color-coordinated boxes with labels on them. Organizing makes me feel like I am in control of every aspect of my life, like I can compartmentalize my emotions and circumstances into labeled containers. The prospect of uninterrupted time to organize literally makes my body flood with adrenaline.

Christmas was so much better than Christmas Eve. We went to Ryan's family first, where we totally scored (thanks, Jesus!) and then we went to my parent's house where we also totally scored. Cousin Amy kept trying to get Ben to smile at her, and he kept refusing. She is just a tad aggressive.

Benjamin does not care about Christmas yet. He didn't like Santa, he didn't like opening presents, and he didn't like all of the people in his face. But he was very nice the whole day, and he kept these feelings to himself. He already knows how to hide his distaste better than his mama does. Success in social situations is something I'm still working on. I hope it's easier for you, Ben.

the kind of christmas eve that makes you want to shoot a certain someone in the balls

Say you are at a Christmas Eve party, and a guy offers another person's baby, a twenty-two-month old, a sip of vodka. Then, just for a lark, say you tell the mother of this baby about it, and she says, "Well, I give him beer sometimes, but that's only like 5% alcohol. Was it a mixed drink? Or straight vodka?" Say she asks you this LIKE IT MATTERS. Now I'm not the sort of person that thinks it's funny when you blow marijuana smoke into a cat's ears, but I'm definitely not the sort of person who thinks it's funny to get a baby, a vulnerable, completely dependent baby, to drink alcohol.

We drove home last night from this situation and we turned around to see Ben sleeping peacefully in his carseat. We said, "Ben is so lucky he has us." But then I thought about this, and I realized that Ben is not at all lucky he has us. Every baby should have at least one parent who loves them and gives them everything they can and protects them from the ills of the world. This is not luck; it is what should be. And the sad thing is, so many babies don't have this, and you imagine these babies becoming adults and you know the odds are against them, and you close your eyes and you pray that they beat them.

P.S. I don't care who reads this.

happy fucking holidays (or merry christmas, bill o'reilly)

Happy fucking holidays, Kaiser Permanente. On this joyous occasion, I just want to take this moment to thank you for ignoring my FOURTEEN MONTH OLD SON'S APPLICATION FOR MEDICAL INSURANCE. I have no idea whether or not my son will have health insurance for the new year. I LOVE AMERICA. AND I LOVE INSURANCE COMPANIES.

the cutest baby alive 

baby weirdo 

who the hell do you think you are? 

babies on the loose!