Monday, October 23, 2006

it's a...

We found out last week that we are having another boy. So I'll have two 6-foot-5-ish, fart-contest-having, eating-so-much-I'll-have-to-shop-at-Costco-regularly teenage boys. I'm going to be so outnumbered! We're going to name him Elliot, and Benjamin is going to hate his guts.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

frustration r' us

We took Ben to Toys R' Us today to spend one of the gift certificates he got. He doesn't really need anything, but it was rainy and we wanted to get out of the house, and we really wanted an excuse to go to Fontana because it is always so pleasant there in sunny Fontana, birthplace of Kaiser Steel and the Hell's Angels. Anyway, I never really went to Toys R' Us as a kid, and when I was there a couple of weeks ago, I realized that it is pretty damn awesome if you are a kid, except for the fact that the store is divided in two, with one half consisting of purple and pink vacuums and kitchens and the other half consisting of blue and red action figures and cars. That's sort of creepy. Anyway, I thought Ben was going to have a great time. After stepping through the door, Ben looked worried and hesitant at all of the toys and kids. But moments later, he realized the possibilities in store for him, and he leapt out of my arms and ran right for...the crayons and markers. There were lots of cool things, but he wanted crayons and markers, just as he always does. Anyway, I thought he would be content to look at all of the stuff, but instead he wanted me to open everything. I tried to explain to him that he couldn't have everything he wanted, that I couldn't open every toy, that Toys R' Us is a place to browse and select, but Benjamin was just coming off the high of opening toy after toy at his birthday party, and this was an idea he couldn't comprehend. He conveyed this to me by going limp, turning red, and writhing on the floor. Before we left, he found a dirty yellow gumball on the floor, clutched it in his fist, and ran away from Ryan. We got it out of his hand before he licked it. was just how I imagined it would be.

ain't no party like a dictator party

Last night, Ryan said he could totally see North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il making an appearance at Benjamin's birthday party. He thinks he would have fit right in.

Friday, October 13, 2006

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Tuesday, October 10, 2006


Okay, Ben, so you don't say words that regularly, but you sing the alphabet up to L now. If we sing A, you'll sing B, then we'll sing C, and you'll sing D, until we get up to LMNOP, and you get freaked out and start over with A. I don't blame you. Why did they cram all of those letters together in the first place? That was a horrible idea.

You had your two-year-old birthday party this past weekend (photos forthcoming), and we had about forty people come through our doors, 95% of who were adults. So it was like this spoiled rich kid's birthday party with piles and piles of brightly wrapped puzzles and clothes and shoes and toys toppling over a tricyle and a giant Radio Flyer wagon. I have never in my life seen so many presents for anyone, at any birthday party I have ever been to. It was ridiculous. On top of that, balloons and candy and cake and pizza were everywhere. You were overjoyed at first, but as the day wore on, you became overwhelmed. At one point, you were sitting in a puddle with cake all over your face. At another, you screamed as your aunt wiped your ever-snotful nose. At another, you got kicked in the face by someone on the swing because you ran in front of it before any of us could stop you. The highs were high, and the lows were low, just like at any good party. Your presents are now in the office, which will be Baby #2's room in twenty-three weeks. The crickets that are taking over my life are hiding in them as we speak.

I love you, Benjamin the Two Year Old. You are a smart little boy, and tonight before you went to bed, you said "cup" and "shell" in your cute baby voice. When we went to check in on you after we said goodnight, you jumped into bed and fake snored to make us believe we didn't just hear you tearing books off of the shelf. You have a great sense of humor, already; I can tell.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

the escape and the big bed

Two weeks ago, we woke at 5:45 am to the sound of Cookie Monster (whose real name is Sid) singing, "C is for Cookie, that's good enough for me." I never understood what CM meant by that, but it did mean one thing: Ben had either grown twenty foot arms, or he had escaped from his crib and was playing with his Sesame Street toy. I ran to the door and opened it, and there he was, right behind the door, sitting in a pile of toys. His clothes hamper was pushed into the middle of the room. Sweaters and pajamas were strewn all over the place. The kid discovered his freedom, and he became drunk with it.

The question was now do we lock him in the crib with one of those crib tents or do we buy him a bed? After discovering that the flimsy tents costs more than a bed, we went with the bed.

The first night was pure hell. Ben ran all over his room, pulling books from the shelves, jiggling the door knob, knocking his kitchen over, throwing Weebles everwhere, etc. Ryan ended up sleeping on the hardwood floors next to the bed, a human barricade. We wondered if we should reassemble the crib. I looked up crib tents on ebay.

We stuck with the bed. The next night, Ben was trickier. He'd jump into bed before we could get the door open, and close his eyes and pretend to be sleeping. One time I watched him run and jump into the bed. He closed his eyes, and made me lift him back onto his pillow, though he and I both were fully aware that he was still awake.

The nights have gotten easier and easier, except for last night when he was sick and so tired, his tears turned to fits of hysterical laughter as he escaped at 11pm and ran down the hallway.

Other than that, he's a big boy now sleeping in his big boy bed. His 2nd birthday is Thursday and his pinata-free birthday is on Saturday. I'm so proud of him!