Tuesday, June 14, 2011

feeling better

Elliott peed normally all day today, so we are a little relieved. Yesterday was the first day of what was supposed to be his summer preschool program offered through the district. I intended to stay for about 20 minutes to observe and make sure the placement was appropriate. But when I got there and saw how severe the kids were, I decided to stay for a little longer. About an hour later, I was prepared to grab him and make a run for it. These kids were severe. They kept escaping from the teachers and one of them even ate crayons--twice. None of the kids said anything, and many of them were rocking or moaning or screaming. The teachers were doing their best, but this was not an appropriate placement for Elliott, as the law requires. After recess, (and after a girl with flailing limbs knocked Elliott flat on his back), I got him the hell out of there. It is for the best. I am looking forward to letting Elliott have a real summer with trips to the museum and the beach (in addition to his occupational, speech, and behavior therapies, which will continue). We may sign him up for a couple of classes here and there, but I'm taking the pressure off--all of us. Hopefully it will work out.

Thursday, June 09, 2011

a dark mood

So...Elliott's beginning to hold his urine in again. I had bought Ryan tickets to see the Beatles "Love" show in Las Vegas next week, and I just got off the phone canceling both our hotel and tickets. The people I spoke with were very sympathetic and gave me a full refund, luckily. Ryan and I were both very much looking forward to this little get away. Oh well.

Elliott starts a new summer program with the school district on Monday as well and I don't want to miss that. We were offered the class very last minute (as in yesterday), and so I want to make sure it will be an appropriate placement for him. Given that he is not peeing and starting a new preschool, we didn't feel right leaving.

I wish I could know that everything will be okay, and I wish Elliott didn't have such a limited vocabulary. He can say, "I want snacks." He can't say, "It hurts when I pee" or "I'm uncomfortable" or "I'm upset that I finished my last day at my old preschool today" or "I'm not ready for potty training" or whatever it is that is causing this problem.

There are only questions and no answers. I feel sorry for him and I feel sorry for Ryan and I feel sorry for Ben and I feel sorry for myself. I guess I should be more positive, but I'm not feeling it right now.