Monday, June 16, 2008

best husband ever

Yesterday when we woke up, Ryan and I were both horribly sick. We were exhausted and our throats hurt and we were generally miserable. Climbing up the stairs was a great accomplishment. Not a great way to start Father's Day for Ryan. The kids were sick a few days ago, but they have since recovered and were full of energy. Ben kept asking me to take him swimming, while Elliott crawled around the house pulling down DVDs or putting his hands in the cat's water. Ryan and I sat miserably on the couch trying to get through the morning. At around 1pm, I felt as though I was going to collapse, and Ryan told me to go ahead and sleep. I felt really guilty, but I went upstairs and lay down. Five hours later, I stumbled downstairs, muttering apologies. He had watched the kids all day, AND done the dishes. I have the best husband ever, and I feel so bad that I wasn't able to do more for him yesterday; I was just so run-down. Usually when I am sick, I don't accept it until I get better and look back on my tired, broke-down ass. But we are both definitely sick right now. And it is quite pathetic.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

the card i would buy if only they made it...

Outside: Painting of flowers, in neutral colors.

Message on the inside: My feelings about you are complicated. Happy Father's Day!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

i'm cool! i'm young!

If that is the case, then why am I always doing aerobics with all of the moms of the kids I went to school with?

These are cool moms...but still.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

what i don't miss

I miss a lot about New York. Without sounding too Sex and the City, I miss the fact that every film that is released is playing somewhere in New York. I miss Central Park and the shopping and the fact that there are actual seasons. I miss all of the free events and my friends and the adrenaline. I spent a good portion of my teenage years desperate to get out of Redlands and move to any city, and I got my wish; I got to live in New York for two stressful and thrilling years.

But now that I am older I love it here in Redlands. As I walked home from the gym tonight, the sun was setting a gorgeous blend of orange and blue and it was 70 degrees out. I was alone on the sidewalk, which never happens in New York. I was not alone in the scary I might get raped sense, but alone in the sense that I could breathe and no one would accost me and I could smell the honeysuckle and I felt extremely calm. I heard someone announcing names in the distance followed by muffled cheers. Graduation. I remembered this night for me at the same place--the Redlands Bowl--eleven years ago. I hated high school and was ready to leave. I didn't cry or anything, but there was still this sense of freedom and possibility that comes with graduation that I hope those students are feeling tonight. I hope they will do well and not fall into all of the traps waiting out there for them. I really do hope they will be happy.

One day, my sons will likely graduate from the same school in the same bowl and I will hear their voices over that speaker. It will be a beautiful Redlands night like tonight. And I will cry my motherfucking eyes out.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

1st family vacation

We just got back from our first family vacation to Disneyland today. We not only survived; we had a lot of fun. I tend to get very stressed out, and yesterday after Elliott got ahold of one of Ryan's pills and ate one and then we lost Ben's annual pass, I must say that I was a little on edge. But after a call to poison control and a successful search for Ben's pass, we were on our way. We had so much fun. When you are a teenager, Disneyland starts to seem a little lame and small. But when you bring your kids, you get to see it all over again, and it suddenly becomes much larger. The small rides I used to think were boring became fun all over again as I watched Ben laugh and smile. I had never taken the train around Disneyland before, and I realized how fun it is with Ryan and the kids.

The hotel we stayed at was amazing; it had an extra room for Elliott (he even had his own flat screen tv so he could get the scores) and I took Ben swimming in the pool yesterday while Elliott napped upstairs. Then we headed back to the park for another five hours. We all went to bed around 11 last night, which is a crazy late night for us four.

The most important thing I learned over this vacation is that Ryan and I can do this--we can take two small, sweet, intense children on a trip and manage not to lose anyone or anything (including our minds). It has made me more confident as a parent and just reinforced the fact that the most fun I ever have in my life is when I am spending time with the family that Ryan and I created.

this last month in photos!


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting




Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting




Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting



Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting