Wednesday, June 11, 2008

what i don't miss

I miss a lot about New York. Without sounding too Sex and the City, I miss the fact that every film that is released is playing somewhere in New York. I miss Central Park and the shopping and the fact that there are actual seasons. I miss all of the free events and my friends and the adrenaline. I spent a good portion of my teenage years desperate to get out of Redlands and move to any city, and I got my wish; I got to live in New York for two stressful and thrilling years.

But now that I am older I love it here in Redlands. As I walked home from the gym tonight, the sun was setting a gorgeous blend of orange and blue and it was 70 degrees out. I was alone on the sidewalk, which never happens in New York. I was not alone in the scary I might get raped sense, but alone in the sense that I could breathe and no one would accost me and I could smell the honeysuckle and I felt extremely calm. I heard someone announcing names in the distance followed by muffled cheers. Graduation. I remembered this night for me at the same place--the Redlands Bowl--eleven years ago. I hated high school and was ready to leave. I didn't cry or anything, but there was still this sense of freedom and possibility that comes with graduation that I hope those students are feeling tonight. I hope they will do well and not fall into all of the traps waiting out there for them. I really do hope they will be happy.

One day, my sons will likely graduate from the same school in the same bowl and I will hear their voices over that speaker. It will be a beautiful Redlands night like tonight. And I will cry my motherfucking eyes out.


Anonymous said...


I feel the same way you do. Redlands is a wonderful town to live and raise kids in.


Anonymous said...

It's so funny that you wrote this because the other day I looked on the RHS website to see when graduation was. I just love seeing the kids in their caps in gowns and I remember the feeling I had when I graduated. I still get that feeling when I think about it; excitement and joy!

Katrina said...

This is so beautiful, right up to the motherfucking part! :)

It almost makes me want to move back to CA, then I think about when Joe's car door was stolen, or when my bike was stolen off my front porch, or when my purse was stolen, and people selling drugs, and gang members scaring me, sitting in traffic, waiting 3 hours to get seated at a resteraunt....

Why don't you guys move to Florida?