Thursday, November 10, 2005

what you've taken from me...

I know I'm supposed to bask in the glorious glow of motherhood and all that, but yesterday I went to the dentist, and the dentist had something to say: I have 7 cavities. "You want to see the hole in your molar?" he asked me. I gave him the same answer I gave the nurse who asked, "You want to see the baby coming out?" NO THANK YOU. I have a huge hole in my tooth from which gases are apparently escaping. I may need a root canal, which means they will dig in my tooth with a sharp tool and kill the nerve. Isn't that lovely. I asked the dentist why I suddenly have so many problems. It is true that I haven't had insurance for a while and therefore haven't been to the dentist in quite some time, but when I was a kid we neither went to the dentist nor brushed our teeth and I only had 2 cavities the first time I went. The dentist informed me that when I was pregnant, Benjamin stripped my body of its nutrients, and I therefore have tons of cavities. You'd think when I got home that Ben would apologize for stripping my body of nutrients. But I've got a surprise for you...he didn't.

Not only did Ben not thank me or Ryan yesterday for the enormous sacrifices we have made, but he decided last night was the night to scream like a maniac for twelve straight hours. I'm not exaggerating. He screamed all night last night. Is he sick? No. Is he teething? Perhaps. Did he need to be changed? No. Hungry? No? Then, what the hell is your problem, kid? Ryan and I literally got MAYBE 2 hours of sleep last night.

Most kids outgrow this.

I thought you had.

What happened?

What am I doing wrong?

Please, please, please, please sleep, kid. You made me cry last night, and it wasn't the first time. And maybe I'm selfish because I don't have that many problems, or tons of adopted kids. I don't live in India am I'm not missing an eye. But all I can think about is sleep. I just want to sleep.

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