Tuesday, December 27, 2005

a new, calmer me

Well, I'm relatively calm now, and I'm looking forward to buying an office desk and organizing on the break. I LOVE organizing. I can't wait until I retire so I can organize everything into neat color-coordinated boxes with labels on them. Organizing makes me feel like I am in control of every aspect of my life, like I can compartmentalize my emotions and circumstances into labeled containers. The prospect of uninterrupted time to organize literally makes my body flood with adrenaline.

Christmas was so much better than Christmas Eve. We went to Ryan's family first, where we totally scored (thanks, Jesus!) and then we went to my parent's house where we also totally scored. Cousin Amy kept trying to get Ben to smile at her, and he kept refusing. She is just a tad aggressive.

Benjamin does not care about Christmas yet. He didn't like Santa, he didn't like opening presents, and he didn't like all of the people in his face. But he was very nice the whole day, and he kept these feelings to himself. He already knows how to hide his distaste better than his mama does. Success in social situations is something I'm still working on. I hope it's easier for you, Ben.

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