Saturday, December 10, 2005

so i know i'm such a slacker...

but I've got a lot of work right now!! Whine, whine, whine. Anyway, this is the catch-up post, and then I will disappear into a cave in the side of Mt. Research Paper. I will emerge 72 days later, dehydrated, hungry, near death, clutching an Excel spreadsheet with all 180 of my students' grades neatly entered. So here goes--

1. Thanksgiving
Cool, if you like family and food. You know, if you're into that sort of thing. Ben ate a whole slice of pumpkin pie, and he wore a corduroy jacket with suede elbow patches. He was a good boy.

2. Favorite Expression
"He doesn't like me because he thinks I sparkle too much."
-Crazy Grandma Wanda
(I know how she feels.)

3. Favorite future T-shirt logo
"Teddy bears are adorable, but I fucking hate 'em." (Thanks Jill and Ryan)

4. Update on Ben
Ben recently found his hair. He walked around the house clutching a fistful of it, and crying when he tugged on it too hard. He still doesn't quite understand how everything is connected.

Ben also probably has asthma. We spent a night in urgent care involving nebulizing, pinning him down naked in a chest X-ray machine, crying, fighting with the pharmacist and each other, surviving on little to no sleep, etc. Being a parent blows sometimes.

The cutest thing he does right now? There are so many. He has taken a liking to licking his chin, so he walks around with his tongue hanging out. He walks with a swagger sometimes, sort of like a cowboy, overconfident, with one arm swinging.

But my favorite thing is when he sees a cat. When he sees a cat, an expression of pure bliss takes over his face. He smiles and emits the most loving sound and tries to hug the cat, but when he gets too close, he hugs onto me. It is one of those things that makes you soft, that literally makes you want to cry right out in Aunt Alice's sunny front yard at 8:30 in the morning.

5. Pictures of Ben
I have them, but I'm not sharing. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!!! No, seriously. I can't find my camera, and I don't know where to begin looking, and I have a mountain of work to do, and I'm tired. So leave me alone.

6. Gymboree
Cool, if you're a mainstream baby. But Ben is a nonconformist. He doesn't happen to like Gymbo the Clown that the baby-talking, brace=wearing instructor pops in a face. As a matter of fact, he doesn't happen to like the instructor so much, either. OR any of the other parents. OR any of the other babies. Gymboree is for suckers. It's for the masses. And Ben is an independent baby. So they can take their "educational" programs and their "stimulating" baby equipment. Ben chooses to roam beyond the confines of that purple and turquoise hellhole and make his own way in this world. So, no, we won't be signing up for 10 more weeks.

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