gnawing! 

the sweetest baby award goes to...benjamin!! 

yum! 

i find this blue link more fascinating than all of my other, more expensive toys 

my new wheels

Today, Ben and I went to the store. Not exciting enough for you? We went to the store in my NEW CAR. Yes, I have a new mode of transportation beyond my stroller. Me and Ben hit the road and never stopped going...until we got to Vons. And then I bought him food and bought myself coffee creamer. And then we went home. Isn't it all thrilling?!!!!

Last Saturday, I bought a blue 2000 Ford Escort exactly like the red 2000 Ford Escort we already have, down to the miles, which are in the 67,000 range. After searching on E Street in San Bernardino, a street which can only be described as ghetto, and after being turned away by numerous gold-toothed men with shady cars, we called the number affixed to the Escort three blocks from our house. We test drove the car, and I pictured myself running errands, Ben blissfully relaxing in the back seat, my favorite CD playing. I wanted it, I wanted it all. But the girl who was selling--who, like many ex-cheerleaders, didn't have neck--wouldn't budge on the price, didn't understand that o.bo. means you're going to get less than you wanted. She expected tens of people to be in her yard shouting higher and higher prices until she finally sold her crappy Escort for $50,000. Anyway, we gave her a number and left. Thirty minutes later, she called me and accepted my offer, we borrowed money from our wonderful family, and hurried to the bank so that our check wouldn't bounce.

Some people might say, "Ford Escorts suck." If I were rich or picky, I might have to agree with them. But I'm finally mobile. I can tell someone, "Let's meet for lunch." I can go to the gym. I can take Ben to the park. And I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I can't wait until tomorrow when I get to take my car in and get the smog checked.

our beautiful boy 

eating a towel 

eating the carpet 

eating a toy 

'sup? 

ben's got two teethies

Yes, I just said "teethies." I have begun doing what all parents do, and what all parents say they'll never do. I'm putting an "-ie" or "-ey" at the end of all my words. Horse? That's right, it's now a horsey. I just can't help myself. Anyway, Ben's 2nd teethie is popping through, right next to his first one. And he's acting loopy as hell, crying, trying to bite his changing table, my arm, his diaper, my glasses, and whatever else is within his sights. We got him some teething tablets, and he's addicted to them now, and whenever he sees the little vial of them come out of the drawer, he starts kicking his legs and opening his mouth and trying to grab them from my fingers. Below are photos of him when he was a little baby boy, just for old time's sake.

his disposition really hasn't changed much 

his socks used to look like smurf boots 

one week old 

quote of the day

"As we all know, the authority on hilarious is held by Robin Williams. No wait... that's the authority on being the hairiest, most disgusting, obnoxious fucker ever."
-Renee Summerfield

everyone was right

My mother's intuition--and the fact that I felt a ridge pushing through in the back of Ben's mouth--told me that Ben's first tooth would be a molar. My mother's intuition is often wrong, telling me that perhaps mother's intuition is a fallacy, or that my mother's intuition-o-meter is out of whack. I'm going to stop saying "mother's intuition" now. It's like when you say the word "smoothie" or "tankini" too many times, and the words become so unbearably nerdy that you have to stop saying it. Anyway, what my point is, is that Ben's bottom tooth has poked through, and I can see it now. That is the boring, predictable first tooth that every baby grows first. I could feel it a couple of days ago, but yesterday I actually saw it, and, once I did, I realized that it was anything but boring. It was probably the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my life, his little white baby tooth. Ben noticed it yesterday too, and began touching it with his tongue and weirdly opening his mouth. I would also like to report that Ben is officially fat, as yesterday he ate two entire jars of baby food in addition to half of a bottle.

ben's tribute to ray charles 

after this was taken, ben took the most massive crap in history--i'm talking up the belly, down the legs--and then i had to stop him from grabbing it and putting it in his mouth 

the cutest picture in history