happy birthday, baby boy! 

ben sure knows how to celebrate

Ben celebrated his 6th month birthday by...being really sick. He had a little baby cough and congestion, but no fever. He was acting nuts--crazily bouncing in his Exersaucer, then crying, then laughing, then shrieking. He was so tired, but he wouldn't sleep, and his eyes were rimmed with red. After I put him down for the evening, he woke up an hour later with a panicky cry, so I went in and got him. I laid down on my bed with him and comforted him to sleep. When I returned him to the crib after an hour, he was relaxed and he slept normally. It was the birthday of a lifetime. This morning I realized that I, too, am sick, and me and Ben have been hacking coughs out all day.

Ben can sit for up to 5 minutes by himself without toppling over, and he grabs for toys (and hair and earrings) more precisely. He eats cereal, fruit and vegetables twice a day, but he hasn't slowed down on his formula. (He is giant--as big as the 10-month-olds at his day care.) The newest thing he's started doing is jutting his lower lip out, making him look like Walter Mattheau. He can also emit an extremely annoying high-pitched squeal, and he enjoys doing this to express both anger and happiness.

one more reason my baby is cuter than yours 

ahhhhhh, springtime

Ben and I went on a walk today. The weather was lovely: it was 72 degrees, the sun was shining, there was a slight, cool breeze that made the lush, blossoming trees dance. An elegantly dressed old lady made her way towards me. She mentioned the weather and how precious Ben looked. It was all so pleasant...too pleasant. As I rounded Cajon St., all of a sudden a butterfly came flying straight at my head. I am terrified of insects. I was not one of those kids who caught lady bugs and let them creep over my fingers. I didn’t catch caterpillars and keep them as pets. I dodged this mariposa only to see another careening towards my head. Then another, then another. There were tens of them floating through the sky, like locusts on the Ten Commandments. My first instinct was to let go of the stroller and run the other direction, so I reminded myself that my firstborn was strapped in, and I gripped the handles tighter and pressed forward. The butterflies had decided to mate or riot or whatever it is they were doing, and it ruined my spring day.

caught off guard 

ben with his bear 

ryan and ben 

my mom and brother jaden 

my sister danielle and my niece kristina 

my dad choking the easter bunny 

with momma 

smiling 

perfecting his sneer 

close up! 

concentrating 

displaying his many chins 

playing 

ben's day on the town

We just checked on Ben (he's sleeping), and he was rolled over sucking his thumb, with his chunky little thighs and bootylicious behind facing us. Ryan had to leave because he has papers to grade and all he wants to do is stare at Ben sleeping. Today I took Ben grocery shopping with me. He's been grocery shopping before, for one or two items, but this was the first time I'd taken him on a bonafied, two-store, hour-long grocery trip. I had a diaper bag filled with supplies, a Baby Bjorn, an umbrella, his pacifier and tons of determination. Ben was cranky before we left, but I forged ahead regardless. And after all of the preparation...Ben was awesome. He sat contentedly in his Bjorn the entire time and patiently looked around as I made my selections. He was a baby genius!!

Ryan and I were talking today about how having Ben tops all of the cool experiences we've ever had. I can't explain how much I love him. I want to nuzzle my nose on his head and breathe in his sour-milk smell all day long. Now he's developing a little fiery personality. Now he's interacting with us more. And I love him more and more each day.

As a side note and warning, I never thought I'd be able to kill a person, but if anybody ever hurt Ben, I would dig my fingernails into their chest and tear out their still-beating heart.

Pictures will be posted later today--I just received my new digital camera. The last one imploded and black juice spilled out of it. I haven't been having great technology luck lately, I guess...

our government blows...big time

Did you know that as little as five years ago, baby food was packed with pesticides, hormones and artificial additives? No wonder eight-year-olds are growing breasts and getting their periods. Well, here's something worse. Type "mercury" and "autism" into Google. What do you get?! A kid whose inoculations have Thimerosal, an organic mercury compound found in many inoculations, is twenty-seven times more likely to have autism than one who gets a mercury-free inoculation. You might be thinking, "Hmmmm. I'll bet our government, the one that is supposed to protect us and act in our best interest, is doing something about this." Well, you're a naive asshole, just like I was. They've known about it for years. They don't care. After all, babies can't talk, and parents don't know better, and poor, hardworking pharmaceutical companies can't lose money. Here's a question I will never be able to answer: How much money do rich people need? So much that they are willing to let babies get autism? Do they roll cigarettes with hundred dollar bills? Do they eat salads made of shredded money, with croutons made of coins? Do they stuff their pillows with money instead of down? Do they use bricks of gold for paperweights? How much fucking money do you need?!?! Well, apparently a lot. Our government's Center for Disease Control did a study on the autism and mercury connection, and they didn't find a basis for it. But here's the funny thing: the CDC is a major proponent of vaccinations and the president of the CDC left the organization for a cushy job at a pharmaceutical company before the study was completed. So don't worry, it's not biased or anything. The inoculation manufacturers didn't recall Thimerosal (though they say they stopped using it) even though top health officials recommended they do so, so no one really knows whether it's in the shots or not. Mercury is toxic, and pumping it into babies is not a good idea. So I'm going to call my doctor, call the manufacturers and irritate a whole bunch of people. Then, I guess I'll have no other choice but to believe them.

butthead it's your birthday, happy birthday butthead

Dear Benjamin,
Happy 5th! It's time we tell you the truth. We called you Baby Butthead for the first five months of your life. It wasn't arbitrary--you were, well, a butthead a good deal of the time. You were born screaming and arching your back, and you never let up. But today, in honor of your birthday, I propose we retire the term Baby Butthead, even when you are living up to the name. You smile now, and you laugh occasionally, and you are easier in general to entertain. I think you are now well on the road to becoming a full-time Baby Genius. We love you so much, little man, and we are so glad that you are in our lives. You've made us wonder what we did with ourselves before you were here. You've made us better, more compassionate people. When you are sleeping, we miss you so much, we sneak into your room and stare at you and smile. Thank you for being such a beautiful boy.
Love,
Mom and Dad